As I think about my focus on life, it becomes more discreet and clear and less detailed as I get older. What is funny is that I have been given multiple tools from our Heavenly Father to manage my life the way that the Bible tells me to do it. So in reality I am a manager of my life while our Lord and Savior is the Owner. HE is the creator of all things so that pretty much makes him the Owner.
Isn't it everyone's ultimate goal to please the owner when given a manager's position? How come it is so easy to screw up knowing that the owner is going to be disappointed in you. I think back to all the times that I screwed up and I am ashamed ....I should have known better! However, at times, doing what is right in the Eyes of our Savior does not feel so well. Instead doing what makes us happy is soooo much easier. Too bad that happiness is just a short term gratification.
One of the hardest things that I have been faced with is that my parents are getting older. My parents unfortunately did not plan well for their retirement years. However, they worked themselves to the bone to provide for their 5 children. I know that we never went without......we always had a roof over our head, clothes on our back, and food in our tummy. I rarely remember my parents saying "no" when I needed something or wanted to go somewhere. Now it is time to do what is right!
In the 10 Commandments, it says "honor thy Father, and thy Mother". This specific commandment is fitting in many aspects of life. At this point, I am faced with honoring my biological human mother and father. As I mentioned before, my parents did not plan well for their elderly years of life. My mother suffers from diabetes and heart complications. The cost of her medications are through the rough for someone that is on a fixed income. I just do not understand how pharmaceutical companies can sleep at night with how much they are charging elderly customers for their life sustaining drugs.
My mother never came out and said she needed help, but I understood how worried she was because of how much her insulin had gone up. She chose to fix the problem by cutting back her dosage so her medication would last longer. It just broke my heart to know that my mother was doing this to herself.
My heart was drawn to the situation and I chose to see what could be done to help her. I had figured that there are 5 children in my family and prayed that reaching out to them would open up the discussion of how to help our mother. Not that simple. I was wrong!
All of us are so different. All of our hearts are different too. This situation opened my eyes to the fact that not all of us feel the same way about honoring our parents, which that is okay. However, the right thing to do in this situation is to do what is right no matter how much it makes you feel uncomfortable. Three of the five of us decided to do what it takes to help buy the medications needed to help my mother. The other two chose to take the stance that until they saw written proof of a budget analysis that my parents were truly suffering financially, they were not interested in helping. This broke my heart! I am having a difficult time understanding how my sisters can be so cold, rude, and heartless toward my mother's needs.
The Lord sent me various messages through this time that I had sorrow over my two sisters' decision. I understand how I have to focus on my life and what is right in our Heavenly Father's eyes. I love my sisters, but I cannot be responsible for their decisions. They are their own managers. They will have to report to the Owner when the time is right about all their decisions in life. I have to focus on me and how I choose to help others in this precious life I have been given. Serving HIM is the ONLY way to go......I see it as......the last review I get on judgement day .....I want it to be that HE sees that I know HIM and that I serve only HIM.
