Am I not being a Good Christian?

I completely understand the fact that in the good times and the bad times you should always Trust in Our Lord and Savior.  If you understand that true empowering fact, then why is it that in specifically the bad times everyone has a tendency to tell you to "Seek Him" or "Trust Him."  Isn't that what I have been doing already?  Do I have a flashing indicator on my face that says "Not Trusting in Him right now" or "Not Seeking Him at the moment"? 

I am battling some heartbreaking news that I just received yesterday.  I am hurt, lost, and torn up about the news.  I am at the point where I feel like I am losing hope......I know in my heart that the Lord does not want me to give up hope, instead he wants me to brush myself off and look forward to what he has in store for me.  Why is it then....that....I just want to ball my eyes out and ask "why, why, why" over and over until I get my way somehow?  Isn't that how we got our way when we were kids?  I know it worked for me a few times. :)

My husband has been an amazing individual through my hardship or I should say OUR hardship.  He has been there for me to have a shoulder to cry on, he has let me know that he will never leaving my side, and best of all, he took the blame for the hurt that I am experiencing.  He is so sweet!  I know it is not his fault, and I also know it is not my fault.........it is just not in God's plan.....now....or maybe ever.

My husband, and a couple friends of mine have been truly a wonderful support through my ordeal.  I just have this thing where I do not get the fact that the one piece of advice that I am receiving.....I thought it was something I was already working my hardest to do.....TRUSTING HIM....  Not only do I do it through the difficult times, but I remind myself in the gratifying high points in my life,  I need to Seek Him and give Him the glory for it.

I asked my husband this morning if it seemed as though I was not leaning on the Lord to get me through my hurt feelings.  He told me that he new I was, but in times like these loved ones may be at a loss for words and only know to remind you to Trust in Him.  Looking at it from that perspective, I understand now that I am not being told that I am a bad Christian and I need to Seek Him.  Instead,  these all powerful words of encouragement of "Trusting in Him" or "Seek Him" are more like a shield to keep me cleansed from all the bad influences out there.  Thank you Jesus for putting such awesome people in my life!!!  

Good things are always worth waiting for......really???

Throughout life you are always told that good things come to those who are patient.  As I get older, I am beginning to understand that all things in life will happen according to God's plan....being patient or not.  So stop being patient and just work on following God's plan?  HIS plan is the right plan I do understand that and I try my hardest to work from my heart each day.  HE does give us choices, but how we approach those choices is based on whether it is right or is it to make us happy?  Don't get me wrong, I prefer to do what is right....

I am facing such a trivial situation right now and I continually wonder what is the lesson in life that I am currently learning.  I know I have no control over any of life's trials and tribulations.....what is going to happen will happen because of HIM.  Our Heavenly Father is well aware of my prayers, hopes, and wishes.  And I understand the fact that "if you ask then you shall receive."  So why am I filled with a mixture of feelings that are nothing but unsettling? ugh!  I guess because the Devil wants a hand in every situation.

I am clinging to my FAITH with all my heart!  I know things will work out!  I also know that I will be happy because it is absolutely what my Heavenly Father wants for me and my family.  I will love him no matter what HE chooses for me.....there is no question about that!  But what is it that HE wants for me....I wish it was that easy!!

I have been faced with numerous life changing situations in my adult life and I have recognized that each situation has transformed me in some way or another.  At times I look back on all that I have been through and I really get it.......I have been nothing but blessed with every tear I have shed!  Jesus has his awesome ways to make me smile each day!!  Good or bad .....I shall welcome it all as a blessing in life.

Nehemiah 13:2 ... because they did not meet the sons of Israel with bread and water, but hired Balaam against them to curse them. However, our God turned the curse into a blessing.