Have you ever wanted something so badly you can taste it? I know I have and it is not a good feeling when you feel like your prayers are not being answered. I believe in prayer and I make every effort each day to thank the Lord. The glory belongs to Him. With that in mind, I understand that my Heavenly Father is listening even before I start praying. As a matter of fact, he knows my prayers before my prayers are said. That is how Almighty our Heavenly Father is.......
My husband and I have been trying to have children for the last 10 years. It has not been the easiest journey, but we kept going and believing in our Faith. Praying everyday to fill our house with children. We have love to share and our hearts ache for chance to be parents together. Ten years later, 3 different doctors later, I am hurting inside when I write this ......it is Not in God's Will for us to have children together.
My current doctor, a Christian man that I have confidence in and believe in, called me this last Thursday to inform me that he did not think it was a good idea to continue trying. As a kid begs his parents for just another chance, I felt the words leave my mouth as I begged my doctor to let me have another try. He kept telling me that he was not optimistic and that there was nothing much else that he could do. I guess I sounded so desperate that he so kindly told me he would keep my file on his desk and think it through for another week. I hurt with every last word that came out of his mouth. He was trying to let me go as gently as possible. I do not think I will hear from him again....
How do you stay positive from this period forward? How do you focus on the fact that God really does have a plan that will fulfill me more than I could ever imagine. Will there always be an emptiness in my heart? I hurt, but yet, I know in my heart that I have so much to be grateful for.....I am blessed. I will keep praying!
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