This is the week that will forever change my life. A year ago this week you will go home. I had not indicators that you would be leaving. I went about my day like I did every day. Did you know? Subconsciously, did the Lord whisper in your ear. I was definitely blindsided. I have had a guilt that I cannot get rid of. I beg the Lord to release me from this heavy burden. Since you went home, I live a lonely life here in the house that the Lord blessed us with. I have spent my time here trying to honor you by getting the things done that we both said we needed to get done. I wish you were here. With all my heart there is nobody else that I want to share this with. There is nobody on this earth that got me the way you did. The Lord is my strength each day. I don't think I can make it without Him. My friend base here in Texas is very very small.....practically non existent. I know the mailman. That is about it. I have friended the construction workers. Most of those workers only speak Spanish. I need your ability to talk to them. We stare at each other with a blank stare most of the time. It is frustrating for me and vice versa.
I miss you a million times over. My heart aches all the time. I feel sick right now. All I want to do is hug you and hear you tell me that you are sorry that I do not feel well. I want to talk to you. This week is hard. I hurt. I am trying my best to make it through each day.
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