Are you like your parents or not?

 My husband and I have been living with my Dad for a little of a year.  Everyday has been a learning experience for both of us.  Nobody gives you any kind of instruction on how to live with an elderly parent.  First of all, my Dad believes that he is helping us by letting us live under his roof.  He thinks that he is capable to live on his own without any sort of help.  When we chose to move in, our goal was to help him out behind the scenes and in a quiet manner.  I do not need to give a tally of all that we do for him.  We do not need to prove our worth.  I just know it is the right thing to do.  Yes, our life has been put on hold.  I live for the day.  I cannot look beyond the day I am currently in.  Our Lord has a plan and I am here to serve Him.  

My Dad's moods and ways are a bit more extreme than I remember from childhood.  I believe his behavior at this point in his life is directly related to the constant physical pain he has throughout his day.  His mind tells him he is fine and his feet scream pain that shoots straight to his brain.  At times, the pain,  causes him so much exhaustion.  He thinks about doing lots, but can not get his body going to do it.

So here we live in close quarters with my father.  My husband tells me that I am neurotic when it comes to protecting my identity and keeping safe with locking the doors in the house.  He says my father is the same way.  I had to think about that for a minute.  I guess I am like my Dad then.  I don't know.  

It is hard for my Dad to admit he needs help.  I know I completely suffer from that; I have grave difficulties asking anyone for help.  I do not like to put our burdens on anyone; Bucky and I like to keep it private and work it out on our own.  My parents told us nothing about their personal well-being or struggles.  That could be why I had no idea that my mother's health was failing so drastically in the last few weeks of her life.  Telling her children would mean she was putting burdens on us that we did not need.  

Basically, thinking through my behavior patterns of my life, there are so many similarities to my parents.  As much as we try not to be like them, we ultimately end up being very much like them.  And that is okay.  I just feel blessed to have these days here with my Dad.  Not sure what tomorrow brings but I can Trust my Heavenly Father for that. "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today's trouble is enough for today."  Matthew 6:34 NLT.

I would love to say one day that I share similar behavior characteristics to my Heavenly Father.  I think that would just be the ultimate gift.