Well, here it is a new year already! I can honestly tell you that I am completely a different person than I was last year. Life has changed, yet again, for me in a blink of an eye. On June 22, 2023, Buck, my husband and best friend, went home to the Lord. It was a tragic passing. I am having difficult days everyday. The tears have not stopped since that day.
I find that my ONLY source of strength is seeking the Lord. I am forcing myself to learn how live by my faith and not by what I see. All of it is difficult. I can truly tell you that life for me at this point is not enjoyable. I hurt everyday missing my best friend. At times, I have to work through a withdrawal episode like a drug addict to get through the pain of just wanting to talk to him or hold him or touch him. It hurts.
I know that "In His Time" the Lord will teach me how to cope with this grief. The Lord knows I am suffering, I discuss this with Him everyday. I trust that HE listens because I miraculously make it through that day and manage to make it to a blessing of another day.
I feel like I am viewing life through a pair of glasses that makes everything look so very different in every way, shape, and form. The only one that I want to tell my thoughts to is Buck. I would love to hear his response.
I have no idea what my life is going to be from here on out. I do know that I spent half my life with Buck, This half of my life the Lord is still writing out and HE does not want me to ruin the ending of it.
So here goes nothing, I vow to share this gift of life that I have left with whoever wants to read about it. For some, you may think that I have had such a hard life. Honestly, I am just grateful for what I do have and I am doing everything in my power to not focus on what I don't have.
My Redeemer Lives - Trust in the Lord - Praise Jesus
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